Pop Quiz
by Andrew Lampert
 
1.   What is your name?         Andrew Lampert
2.   How old are you?          47
3.   Where do you live?         Maryland
4.   What do you do for a living?         Day job: Dishwasher, local soup kitchen; Moonlight as the Executive Director of the Cosmic Baseball Association.
5.   Do you drive?         ... people crazy, yes.
6.   What do you do for joy?          mother/father two children and play romance man as time permits.
7.   What is your pet peeve?   And how much does it weigh?  Does it sleep by the door?  Is it housebroken?          ego-centrism; maybe less than a pound; it doesn't ever really sleep; I don't think the ego can be housebroken, but I don't know for sure?
8.   Do you write, paint or play?  All at the same time?  (While juggling a dozen eggs and riding a unicycle?)          I write grocery lists and poetry; I don't know how to paint; I couldn't possibly juggle a dozen eggs and I'm trying to find a bicycle built for two or more.
9.   Who is the most impressive character you've ever met?          Today I'm thinking it might be P. Adams Sitney
10.   Have you ever read, acted, performed, thrown up, etc. in public?          on occasion I've tried all of these (but I'm more comfortable in the private sector.)
11.  What piece of literature or art moved your soul to ecstatic waves of bliss?          Bruce Baillie's film MASS FOR THE DAKOTA SIOUX
12.  What was the first thing you ever encountered that made you realise that art is important?          Seeing a photograph of a naked woman on the back of a deck of cards in my grandfather's house. He told me it was art.
13.  Would you consider yourself an artist?  A good one?  Why or why not?          I think others make those judgements.
14.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything else?         I like baseball and water.
15.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY everything to do with everything else?          I like imagination.
16.  What's the meaning of life?          I'm very curious about this too.
17.  Why?          I'm not very good at carpentry or practical thinking; I'm more comfortable with the conceptual which really isn't as useful.
18.  True or false: the Three Stooges represent the apex of American cultural achievement.         Probably not.
19.  True or False: Shemp was funnier than the original Curly.          False but in my opinion Lou Abbott & Bud Costello were funnier than Larry, Moe and Curly and Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were funnier than Abbott and Costello.
20.  Who's da man? Don Quixote
21.  Who's da woman? Elise Cowen