Pop Quiz
by Jim Wood
 
1.   What is your name?         James-Jim-Jimmy-Wood-EHFritz-J Sparrowhawk-Watching_Bear Speaks-ay Cabron!
2.   How old are you?          59 in the stately time that is the fullness thereof. 107 in feeling strange.
3.   Where do you live?         Inside I live wherever there is an empty space. Outwardly, the body ramblies about Las Cruces, New Mexico. See the power of the desert.
4.   What do you do for a living?         Help my wife cash her bimonthly checks.
5.   Do you drive?         Oh yes! You see, I came upon a very clean '91 Deville with only 52k on it and I LUUUUVE to drive that sucka!
6.   What do you do for joy?          Sit on my porch and contemplate the Infinite. I count stars at night and pnder what manner of civilizations are planted there.
7.   What is your pet peeve?   And how much does it weigh?  Does it sleep by the door?  Is it housebroken?          No to the last couple. My main rave is about people who tell us something is impossible. Whether that is clergy or the priesthood of science, it is so stupid it makes my hemerroids itch.
8.   Do you write, paint or play?  All at the same time?  (While juggling a dozen eggs and riding a unicycle?)          Yes, no, yes, can't be done, terrible waste of food.
9.   Who is the most impressive character you've ever met?          Tarazullah Samandari
10.   Have you ever read, acted, performed, thrown up, etc. in public?          Yes. It was my bent in college and the prodocol of every drunk.
11.  What piece of literature or art moved your soul to ecstatic waves of bliss?          La Boheme, every time! And Smilla's Sense of Snow.
12.  What was the first thing you ever encountered that made you realise that art is important?          When I was shipped to a foster home in San Jose, my foster mom took me with the family during Opera season in San Francisco. Season tickets sitting in the cheap seats with the students. Opera reamed the mineral deposits from my heart!
13.  Would you consider yourself an artist?  A good one?  Why or why not?          Yes, I am an artist. Good one? Yes, because no one else can do what I do because nobody else can be me. If I say I am, I am.
14.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything else?         There are no such things. the nature on space/time makes that an absurd question.
15.  What are your favorite things that have ABSOLUTELY everything to do with everything else?          Ah, now this is different. Prayer circles, for one. Walking around the desert with Bobby and Gene kicking rocks and argueing about the meaning of life.
16.  What's the meaning of life?          Knowing it never ends.
17.  Why?          Why what?
18.  True or false: the Three Stooges represent the apex of American cultural achievement.         False. Tapioca pudding is!
19.  True or False: Shemp was funnier than the original Curly.          False, of course.
20.  Who's da man?         The man who comes all the way home.
All they ever give him is a handful of foam,
He's got nothing.
Jim Wood died on November 23, 2005. He is dearly missed by his Nonelist friends.